Ahh the bump in all her glory! 33 weeks and counting. I have to talk about pregnancy emotions because I don’t see a lot of people on the inter web talking about them. Maybe I’m just not looking or paying attention. In all honesty I hadn’t thought much about it until lately. Perhaps its just the lack of sleep or some of the woes that come with getting, dare I say, bigger… but every once in a while my husband will have to put his incredible negotiating skills to work. It goes something like this:
After one entire day chock full of learning about babies at our hospital — having them, feeding them, bathing them, changing them, did I say having them? Natural or with medicine? Bassinet or no? Did someone say co-sleep? How dare! We began the drive home around 5:30 in rush hour traffic. Somewhere on that drive home in the midst of a perfectly fine conversation the topic of nesting came up. Meltdown begin. I still don’t know why. I think it is because I feel slightly ganged up on when it comes to this topic. I’ve been wanting to ‘nest’ for some time now. Just to get everything in place, ya know! I couldn’t find the crib I wanted in stock anywhere and every time I would bring up organizing everyone would say oh you’ve got time. I know I have time. I have counted these weeks and days with vigor! And as it gets closer I don’t care how much time is left… I’m ready to nest. Of course, this opened up the cry box. Silly things that really don’t matter but the tears they fell streaming down my face. My poor husband looking oh so helpless as he weaved through traffic. His calmness still amazes me in these times and I think it’ll come in handy during labor. (wink wink.) So as my husband tries to soothe me I can’t help but think how quickly that switch just switched. Perfectly fine to a wet sobby mess in just seconds. And this wouldn’t be the last time, oh no.
I barely missed another bucket full of tears during a cookie baking session gone wrong. My lovely little pineapple cookies that I spent so much time rolling out and cutting with my cute pineapple cookie cutter. Well those beauties turned into BLOBS as soon as they started cooking. What is the point of a cookie cutter if they’re just going to start blobbing up as soon as they bake? Nada! So as husband soothed and I roared “but they’re BLOBS!!!” we eventually determined a solution (just re-cut the blobs when they’re fresh out of the oven and still warm and gooey – it totally worked!) Disaster averted! Thank you husband and family for your understanding and acceptance that there’s a lot going on in this little body of mine and some days are easy and some days are hard. And some things are triggers for whatever reason that may be. Yes I know it’s the hormones but don’t bring that up with pregnant people. We get it. We just need extra hugs sometimes, or a shoulder to cry on, and most importantly we need not to feel like we’re being crazy. Even if we are. Done.